May your swine be flu-free....
May you never be stuck in an elevator wearing a "Darwin Was Right" T-shirt at a creationists' convention....
May you find that those year-old jeans are a little loose, not a little tight....
May neither your butter nor your milk taste like buttermilk....
May the herbivores stay out of your herb garden....
May you remember your passwords -- or where you wrote them down....
May your taxes be your fair share, nothing more, nothing less. And may they support worthwhile programs....
May your energy come from within, not from an amped-up, hyper-caffeinated drink in a can....
May you find something nice to say about your boss. Something. Anything. It shouldn't be that hard....
May you keep your head if your hat blows off....
May someone have the kindness and courage to tell you: The combover doesn't help. Photo: AP...
May your favorite baseball team end Opening Day the way it began it -- tied for first place....
May your confessions be shorter than Augustine's....
May all the tornado sirens in your neighborhood be false alarms....
May you catch more fish than you lose lures....
May you be right more often than the TV weathermen....
Should your luggage be randomly searched at the airport, may it contain nothing more embarrassing than those little bottles of shampoo that you filched from the hotel....
May your leaps of faith never end in a fall from grace....
May your bracket include at least one or two astounding upsets....
I'm a nobody. Nobody's perfect. Therefore, I'm perfect. (Borrowed from David Pogue, tech columnist for The New York Times)...
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